The Davidson family adoption journey was meant to be
Like so many young couples, Amanda and David Davidson wanted to have children of their own. And like so many other couples, they discovered nature had other plans. They tried to conceive over the course of nine years. When that was unsuccessful, they turned to In vitro fertilization (IVF) as an option. That, too, was ineffective and due to the cost, a second IVF treatment was out of the question.
“We finally came to the conclusion that the child doesn’t have to come from us,” said Amanda. “There are plenty of children in the world who need parents, stability and guidance.”
The couple had high expectations as they entered into a private adoption only to learn the birth mother changed her mind. The couple decided to put their parenting plans on the shelf.
Enter The Villages and DCS.
Amanda and David ultimately decided to become foster parents joining the Indiana Adoptive Program through DCS and were assigned a case worker from The Villages. Their hope was that fostering would lead to permanent adoption. They always pictured themselves being the parents of a newborn, but while looking at photos of children available to foster on the DCS website, they saw 12-year-old Trevor.
“The kid’s smile lights up a room,” said Amanda. “Trevor was the first child we inquired about, and he made us realize we had pigeonholed ourselves. We saw that there are older kids that get overlooked, so we broadened our range for age.”
Although Trevor was not immediately available to foster, when he was, the Davidson’s jumped at the chance to make him a part of their family. “We love him to pieces. He is an amazing young man,” Amanda continued.
Like any parenting journey, it was not all smooth sailing. There were challenges. Trevor had been in a number of foster homes previously and demonstrated disruptive behavior. The issues continued after placement with the Davidsons, but they were determined, along with his case workers, to make this placement work.
For their part, Amanda and David were resolute to hold Trevor accountable for his actions. They sat him down and let him know his behavior was wrong. They laid out the consequences. It was the structure they say he needed, and it made a huge difference.
Still, Trevor was still hesitant about wanting to make his foster family a permanent one through adoption.
The Villages team spent more time with Trevor to understand his hesitation, and they discovered Trevor had an intense fear of permanent placement and uncovered the reason for that fear. He was now almost thirteen and had been in the DCS system since he was six. He had virtually no memories of anything prior. This was all he knew. He was afraid adoption would cut him off from the support of the people who had been with him on his team for all these years.
Trevor’s team met with him. They were very up front and honest in the conversation. They explained his options for going forward. Ultimately, he would go on to make the decision of his lifetime.
On July 18, 2024, now 13-year-old Trevor was adopted into his forever home by Amanda and David Davidson. He is obsessed with basketball, Fortnite and animals. His new parents describe him as a very compassionate young man.
From the trivial to the not-so-trivial, instructional material to counseling, from guidance to just lending a sympathetic ear to a “first-time parent’s panic,” The Villages was there. The Davidsons are thankful for all the resources and support that they say made the difference for all of them.
His team? They’re still there with him making frequent contact and the Davidson’s regularly exchange picture and share updates. Amanda says, “they are now our extended family.”
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